Last week we told you that on Braxton Family Values, Tamar Braxton revealed for the first time that she recently had a miscarriage. That “very very new” miscarriage actually took place in 2016, amidst a year of disappointments that included her dismissal from The Real, the poor sales of her album and cancellation of her tour, and her unexpected exit from Dancing with the Stars due to health issues. It was a rough time.
These days, though, Braxton has a lot to be happy about, including Vince’s major weight loss and her new music. But that doesn’t mean Braxton plans on ceasing attempts to have more kids.
The 40-year-old spoke open and honestly to Glamour about what it’s like going through IVF, how she went from not wanting to have any kids to wanting as many as possible, and why she thinks it’s so important for women to freeze their eggs. Here are a few comments that stood out:
On Beyoncé Giving Her Hope
Beyonce gives me hope. She’s pregnant with twins in her late 30s, and that’s such an amazing blessing. And for myself, I want the Patridge [sic] family. I just don’t know how they’re going to get here. I’m very nervous about going through that whole process of IVF again, because having a loss after going through it is really devastating. It really is a loss you can’t explain.
How She Went From Wanting No Children to Wanting As Many As Possible
Early on, there was a time where I was like, ‘I don’t want kids! I’m all about my career,’ and my gynecologist said, ‘Here’s the thing, Tamar: You never know what life is ever going to throw you, so you should really consider freezing your eggs.’ Vince and I talked about it, and when I went for my initial IVF—when I was just going to freeze my eggs—I didn’t know that I had infertility issues. I was blocked on both sides as if I had my tubes tied. I was 34 when I found this out. They don’t know what causes that. The devil? Ha! It’s just my makeup. The doctors didn’t think I couldn’t have kids; it wasn’t going to happen [the natural] way. I didn’t even know that until I went to go freeze my eggs. But I was cool with it, because at that time I didn’t even want to have kids. Now, I would have started at 28, 29, 30, but you don’t know until you know.
On Logan Being Her “Miracle Baby”
What happened was, right after IVF, coincidentally I got pregnant with Logan. He’s the best thing that ever happened to Vince and I. Considering I was told I probably wouldn’t be able to have kids [without help], that’s why Logan is a real miracle baby.
At first, right after I had him, I’m like, ‘I’m not having any more kids!’ I hated being pregnant! I wanted an apple martini the whole time. I craved it. [Pregnancy] was hell. And then you fall in love with this kid—this crazy miracle—and all of the sudden want more. He has enriched my life so much.
What It’s Like Going Through IVF
Vince and I started trying for a second child, but it just didn’t work. My gynecologist was like, ‘You need to use the eggs you were able to freeze.’ I didn’t want to go through the whole IVF situation again because I knew what [was involved]. My personality changed. I was a hateful heffer [sic]. And I didn’t want to be hateful! I knew what it did. And I was so hungry! I ate all day! But I knew I wanted a baby more than I cared about all these other things. So, me and Vince went through getting the injections all over again to get my uterus ready to have the embryo implanted. And when you’re 38 or 39, the doctors only want to implant one embryo. I had six viable embryos, and four were healthy. But when you’re in your late 30s, the doctors only want to implant one at a time because there’s a higher percentage rate of multiple births. Knowing that they could only implant one at at time was devastating to me. Because if that one didn’t stick, I knew I would have to go through the entire process again. Aside from the physical toll on your body from all the shots, the IV’s, the blood work, etc., it’s so expensive to keep going through it. No matter how much money people think you have, expensive is expensive! And there’s no guarantee it’s going to work.
On Losing Her Pregnancy and Dealing With a Lot of Loss at Once
I got the implantation, and I went for my pregnancy test, and it was positive. Three days later though, they called to tell me my numbers were going down. When your numbers are going down, it’s a wrap. I wasn’t pregnant that long after my pregnancy test.
I didn’t know how I was going to get out of my bed for a couple weeks. But you just do, you know? The same choice you make to be courageous and go through this process is the same choice to get up and keep going. It was hard because I still had to work. But after the miscarriage, I wanted so badly for the other things in my life to work. My tour got canceled. Of course everybody knows what happened at [The Real]. [Ed. note: Braxton and the show parted ways in May 2016]. My album came out and I couldn’t support it. I had to stop Dancing with the Stars. I just wanted to feel like I achieved something that I set out to do. When it didn’t happen, I felt like I was going to have an emotional breakdown. It was tough.
Why She Thinks Women Need to Get Serious About Freezing Their Eggs at a Certain Age
I tell my girlfriends, ‘will you please go freeze your eggs?’ Everyone is waiting for the right guy and the right time and the right financial block that they’re in, but we kind of take it for granted that we’ll always be able to have children. Go and do it. Because you never know. Once you turn 35, they view that as a high-risk pregnancy.
Her Plans to Keep Trying
I have three embryos left. I’m definitely going to put them to use. I just don’t know how yet. I’m looking forward to expanding our family because it’s very important to Vince and I. And I am looking forward to learning more about myself, being proud of myself and not being so hard on myself as a woman and as a mother. It really is a choice to have a good day or to have a bad day. You can have the most jacked up thing happen to you, but the choice is how you handle it!
Image via WENN
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