My morning routine consists of the following: I nurse my infant daughter, change her diaper, wash my face, get my toddler ready for school and begin my process of getting dressed. I work from home, so I put minimal thought into my clothing as I’m only dropping off my daughter and coming back home. However, there’s one piece of attire that is on my “must-wear list” on a daily basis — my waist trainer.
I had my second child six months ago, and while I’ve lost some weight, I haven’t reached my weight-loss goals, which include a much flatter stomach. I’m sure most people would tell me I look just fine after having two kids in 20 months, but the truth is that I gained a little weight before having my first child and haven’t been able to get back down since. I don’t think I look bad at all, but a little fine-tuning wouldn’t hurt.
I normally don’t think twice about my waist trainer, but I started feeling weird about it when I received a particular comment from my husband. He gave me a look of bewilderment as I let out a huge sigh of relief upon taking the uncomfortable contraption off one night. After noticing his face, I said, “What?!” in embarrassment. He replied, “I just don’t understand what it’s for.”
My husband is very literal and he really didn’t get my use of the trainer. To this day, he still doesn’t understand how it works or why people use them. It took me a few seconds to answer his question, but I eventually told him that I use it to help my stomach get smaller and that “I’m just trying to get fine!” Although I laughed at the last comment, being questioned about the trainer made me slightly question my own reasoning behind using it. I say “slightly” because I continued to wear it.
It only took a few more weeks of wear and my six-month-old infant to really make me analyze my daily habit. My daughter has always been one to look around to absorb the world around her, but recently she’s become more aware of her surroundings and stares at certain things as if to fully comprehend what’s going on.
Since my daughter can’t talk just yet, she just gave me a hard stare as I put on my waist trainer one morning. It wasn’t a look of disapproval, but more of a look of one attempting to learn a process. At the time, I tried to ignore it and divert her focus elsewhere (while still wearing the trainer), but I kept thinking about that look and how even at an early age, kids soak up almost everything.
Since I’m raising two Black girls, how I carry myself is very important. I want to ensure that they have a healthy array of positive images of African-American women and girls to look up to. I want to make sure that they understand that they are worthy and more than enough, and that their skin and bodies are beautiful.
How can I efficiently do that if I’m constantly concerned about my own shape? At such a young age, how do they perceive the attitude that I have toward my body? I want these little girls, who will grow up to be women, to understand that their mom loves her body but wants to simply get back to a place that’s comfortable for her. I’m not sure if I’m sending that exact message by wearing an item that seems to suck the life out of me, literally.
Working out and eating healthy are behaviors that I would love for my girls to inherit. I want them to truly grasp why it’s important to take care of your body while ignoring some of the more superficial reasons behind doing so. I hope that the love that I do have for my body, coupled with healthier eating and working out as opposed to wearing a trainer will provide examples of how they should appreciate what they have and do what they can to take care of themselves.
I often think about the day my girls might complain to me about the way they look. While I see myself providing words of encouragement, I’ll be heartbroken on the inside wondering if all the wrapping, tucking and covering to feel good about myself may have contributed to any of their body image disapproval.
Image via Bigstock
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