Hilarious Reasons You’ve Probably Slept With Somebody

[caption id="attachment_829316" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/close up portrait of young african couple kissing[/caption] Back in the day, when life was just one long episode of “Sex and the City” and it felt like, every week, you had some pretty absurd hookup stories to catch your friends up on, it didn’t take much for you to go home with someone. Especially since you were young, broke and hungry. And thirsty (but not in the literal sense—you drank plenty). It would be nice if you could say you saw a future and felt a connection with every guy you ever slept with, but you’d just be lying. Maybe today you’re more selective, but when you were younger, your priorities were all scrambled up—keeping your number low wasn’t nearly as important as a few other odd things. Here are hilarious reasons you or someone you know has probably slept with someone. [caption id="attachment_617513" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He had a cute dog

Dogs do the same thing to women that cute babies do; they get those must mate hormones flowing! Your apartment wouldn’t allow dogs at the time, and all you had to do was sleep with this dude who—hey—was cute enough to snuggle with Spot? You were in. [caption id="attachment_704372" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

His apartment was amazing

You shared a one-bedroom roach motel with a friend, right by a dumpster where drunk vagrants loved to have bond fires and yell about the demons they thought they saw. He lived in a penthouse with a Jacuzzi on the deck. It was a no-brainer. [caption id="attachment_702781" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He had Cable

And it was the season of your favorite show. You knew if you waited for the season to come out online all of your friends would have spoiled everything for you! So you’d go over to this house and turn on his TV, and him.     [caption id="attachment_708291" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

To make sure your va-jay-jay still worked

You just hadn’t had sex in a very long time and, truth be told, you wanted to make sure you still knew how to.     [caption id="attachment_706469" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He had air conditioning

It was that one unforgettable summer people still talk about to this day. When you were at your place, you had to walk around in your underwear with frozen peas taped to your ta-tas just to survive. But then you met this guy who had air conditioning…It was love at first draft. [caption id="attachment_713716" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

He lived near your work

You had an awesome internship that just happened to be three subway changes and a twenty-minute walk from your place. Meanwhile, you met this dude who lived in the nice apartments right upstairs from the office. So, you arranged some sleepovers. [caption id="attachment_693332" align="alignleft" width="418"] Corbis Images[/caption]

He thought you were amazing in bed

This one guy constantly told you how incredible you were at everything and how you were the best he’d ever had. Who were you to walk away from that ego boost? Um, I mean, to deny him of that? [caption id="attachment_616347" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He reminded you of your celebrity crush

When the lighting was just right and he had his good side turned to you, he looked just like your celebrity crush. Really, you call that the month you were sleeping with Jesse Williams. [caption id="attachment_705234" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He had great snacks

He bought all the great snacks you couldn’t afford at Whole Foods, like the really fancy cheese, and the pre-cut organic fruit, and the gourmet popcorn…You were just looking out for your health.   [caption id="attachment_706464" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He had a sick in-home gym

All you could afford was the sad, dilapidated gym that cost $20 a month and had machines that had likely never been properly cleaned. Then you met this guy who had a brand new, state of the art gym with giant televisions and water with the fruit in it…You were smitten. [caption id="attachment_698081" align="alignleft" width="419"] Shutterstock[/caption]

It didn’t work out with his friend

You were honestly interested in his friend, but by the time the three of you made it back to his place, the friend went to sleep, and the leftover guy was being pretty sweet. Plus, you didn’t get that Brazilian wax for nothing. [caption id="attachment_695505" align="alignleft" width="500"] Shutterstock[/caption]

He accused you of being superficial

He wasn’t very attractive and he accused you of only sleeping with attractive men. Challenge accepted. (Also, you fell for that? Oldest trick in the book!) [caption id="attachment_617341" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

To try a new trick you read about

You read about this thing with ice cubes and handcuffs and you’d been dying to try it on somebody. Really, you wanted practice for when you met the one.   [caption id="attachment_707719" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He had a fancy shower

The kind with five showerheads, hitting you from all directions. That shower had incredible water pressure, a long bench to sit on, and speakers in it to play music.     [caption id="attachment_712126" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

To see if you could

The guy was, in your opinion, out of your league. He had the attention of every woman in the place, and you just wanted to see if you could beat them all.     [caption id="attachment_620946" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You felt sorry for him

The poor guy had just been fired immediately after getting in a car accident that left him with a cast on his leg, and a destroyed bumper from somebody who hit and run. You just wanted to make him feel better. [caption id="attachment_703759" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Uber was too expensive at the time

You told yourself you wouldn’t sleep with this guy just yet, but the Uber to get home was, like, $70 at that time of night, so you said screw it.     [caption id="attachment_616901" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Your mom would hate this person

And your mom had been really pissing you off recently. So you slept with the guy with the neck tattoo and plugs in his years who ran a weed and meditation retreat.       [caption id="attachment_714219" align="alignleft" width="500"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your friends thought you were gay

You’d been out of the game for so long that your friends were beginning to wonder if you were just a lesbian, and unwilling to come out to them. So you slept with a guy to prove them wrong. [caption id="attachment_717497" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He bought you food when you were drunk

When a man buys you a burrito while you’re wasted, that man suddenly becomes the hottest, most considerate saint you’ve ever seen.

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