It finally broke. The handle on the side of the toilet had been hard to push down since we moved into our home a few months ago, and with one hard push, I managed to accidentally dismantle the little object that we all take for granted. From then on, what was supposed to be a simple task became a headache.
For six days, my husband and I had to flush the toilet by opening the top on the back, putting our hand in the water (apparently it’s “clean”) and lifting the lever. This is the sacrifice we made in lieu of using another bathroom in the house.
After my husband replaced all of the parts inside of the toilet, the new handle was easier to flush and things returned to normal. To say that I was ecstatic would be an understatement. I even told my husband that having a fully functioning toilet made my entire week. After the initial enthusiasm wore off, I pondered the reasons for my intense feelings about the white porcelain object.
It wasn’t just about the toilet being in working condition that made me happy, but also about my husband actually fixing it. I wasn’t surprised that he fixed it at as he has always been handy, but I admired that he did. I appreciated that he, as always, made time to go out of his way for his family.
The morning he did it, he was extremely tired from a lack of sleep the night before. He had a business trip to take, so I expected him to take a nap and relax before leaving for the airport. I could live with our new flushing technique for a few more days. But instead, my husband carved out two hours to fix the toilet since he wouldn’t be able to give it much attention until he returned from his trip the following weekend. He didn’t want to leave me alone to not only take care of our girls by myself, but to also have to deal with the faulty toilet. He inconvenienced himself to so that I wouldn’t be inconvenienced.
Thinking on it, I was reminded that it’s the little things that can keep a marriage strong. For us, this was the little thing.
Is it my age (mid-30s) that has me appreciating things that I never thought I would? Or is it the many years that I’ve been with my husband?
In my 20s, I had an unrealistic idea of what marriage entailed. I knew perfection was nonexistent, but I never knew how real the work was going to be. Even after observing the ups and downs of one of my best friend’s marriages, and having a better understanding of common situations, I never really got it until I married my husband. I soon came to realize that while gifts and fancy outings from time to time are what keep things interesting, it’s the simple gestures that really keep things going.
It’s easy to appreciate a certain thing your spouse does if they rarely, or never, do said action. But what if they always cook, clean, perform yard work, give the kids their daily bath and basically, step up when you need them and also when you don’t?
It’s easy to forget to show appreciation to your spouse when they routinely do something, so it’s important to try a different approach. Instead of simply thanking them, get excited. Show off a huge grin, give a hug and kiss and let them know how their efforts made you feel. From the giver to the receiver of such actions, it’s clear that a little goes a long way.
I can happily say that we have a great marriage, and I truly feel it’s because we celebrate the small things, which I call the small victories.
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